Shifting from an INTJ into INFJ.
Both personalities are in the category of ‘rare’, especially INTJ regarding I am a woman, while INFJ is the rarest among other personalities. But the most significant change in my life is the way I see everything and how I make my decisions. I never really thought about it before, but when I was still an INTJ, I was more of a thinker. I used logic and what makes sense to me regardless others opinion. But now I tend to do what my heart tells me to and sometimes, if not most of the time, doesn’t make sense. I feel weaker. I can’t handle stress and great pressures as it will affect my health. It is weird, isn’t it?
It is like I have two personalities and able to switch to whichever, whenever I want to. It sounds scary and strange. Although the difference is only on the Extraverted Feeling (INFJ) and Extraverted Thinking (INTJ), it is obvious that I have changed into a whole new person. This is what I believe now; people do change. It might happen because of the people you hang around with, the new environment you’re living in, your age, and even society. It can impact you and the way you see yourself and everything around you.
Both INTJ and INFJ are Introvert and Intuitive. The main difference is that INTJ is more of an Antagonist and INFJ is more of a Protagonist. Can you imagine how that affects my life? From being someone so tough, mean, and heartless into a weak, selfless, and sensitive person. I remember thinking how I hated this kind of self, I am just too weak to defend myself, and just too stupid for using feelings more rather than my brain. I promised to never give myself up and turn into who I am now. But a lot has changed me and it was an inevitable process.
Environment took the role in changing me. After I graduated, the environment around me adjusted itself like it revolved on its own. The next thing I knew, I was already a different person. What do you think about the difference between an INFJ and an INTJ? “Oh nothing much, it’s just that sometimes I can be so touchy and I cry more now, then I will fall ill whenever I cry too much.” I wish I could say that all the time to get free passes in life being one of the weakest personalities in all of humanity. But, nah, that is called complaining and I believe INFJ never complains.
Anyway, INFJ as you can see is very sensitive because they tend to use their hearts to think and to make decisions. INTJ on the other hand, uses logic. When they need to take action, they don’t see the effect they made to other people as long as they are doing what they want to do. Sometimes INTJ can be considered selfish.
But INFJ is across the road. They think before they act. “What will happen to this person if I do this?” “Will he be hurt if I do this?” “Will he be happy if I do that?” it is like, INFJ lives to serve other people, to please other people. For an INTJ, “F*ck that, I won’t do it just to please you!” so, can you imagine how many degrees I have to turn myself around?
Thankfully, I am not alone! There are people out there who are struggling with this kind of thing as well. I have a friend, who had to deal with the same shifting process in a hard way. I am considered lucky because I already have someone to look up to and ask for advice. He suggested that I take it slowly and try not to be overwhelmed by the process.
Here is what I have learned from the changing process: tolerance. Being a little bit more sensitive gives you some perks too. It makes you become more tolerant to other people and it appears nurturing to them which appeals nicely. People only want to be understood. It is like that is why God created INFJ people, to understand other people. INFJ is like having this superpower to comfort other people, which to be blunt, is really tiring. Creating a smile in someone else’s face always drains out the energy, but it will always worth the effort.
All INFJ needs is isolating themselves to recharge her/himself before heading out and giving away wise advises that sometimes, if not most of the time, they need for their own. Funny, isn’t it? INFJ does not need anybody to make them feel better. The only person that can push them are themselves and other fellow INFJ. Because you know why? We have a strong bond between one another and the ones who could understand each other. I was surprised how quickly I can connect to my other INFJ peers even though I have only known them for several days. That can be one of the perks too. INFJ can connect to so many people, yet people cannot do the other way around. It is like a one way connection, which seems unfair but it is enough for INFJ to make friends.
The changing process is not bad and I can finally embrace my inner INFJ. It is hard to let go of the INTJ in me completely because it will always be in my blood. But I am grateful that I am included in the rarest personality as there is only a handful of us in this world. This humanity needs more INFJ people. This humanity needs me.