What Really Makes Your Life Miserable

You are having a severe disease, you are sick all the time but you have been taking your medicine everyday that you thought was healing you, but your health gets worse. You think that there is something wrong with your immune so you keep blaming yourself for every worst case.

What do you think is wrong? Have you ever really considered thinking that maybe the medicine is empowering the disease? Have you checked? If you have and you knew all along that the medicine is not good for you and is killing you but you keep consuming the pills because you believe that maybe it will heal you somehow and because you are already too dependent on it. You must stop taking the medicine!
It goes the same with your life. You know exactly what makes your life full of anxious, stress, and doubts. Because you keep surrounding yourself with toxic people. You keep them around you and you think they might change and make your life worth living. But the truth is, the longer you hang around them, the uglier your life will get. Stop thinking that you can be happy with them just because you are scared of letting them go. Some bad people will always stay bad until they have their lesson.
The only thing that can save you is yourself. You have to realize when it is time to walk out of their lives. Appreciate yourself for your own happiness. Always make sure that you come first, never put anyone else above you! Be selfish for sometimes. Stop taking that medicine, those toxic pills. Walk out and be happy! You deserve a happy life, even without anybody involved.

How to Not Hate Your Life

“How not to hate your life”

Here are some tips how not to hate your life.

  1. Do the things that you love : Remember, this is very different with “love what you do” because it is forcing you to be happy when you are not. Everything is always bad when it is being forced. It is not hard to do what you love, just simply do what you want to do and you are basically going to be the happiest person. But before you make your decision, you get to think of the consequences. Everything has its own risk and it needs your full responsibilities. I am going to give an easy example if you love cheesy fries and you crave for them every day and for every meal, you have to think for yourself what will cheesy fries do to your health if you eat them 3x in a day. If you love singing and want to be a singer, you know tongues are the best judges of all. How criticism will affect your mental health. You have to think for the long term. I love writing. Of course, I have to think about the consequences, the responsibilities that I cannot get away from.
  2. Do what you are good at when it comes to making money : You know you are good at Graphic Design, you should make money from it. There are ways, maybe you should consider applying for a job as a Graphic Designer or you can make your own business over it. Yet, this can be challenging. Maybe there will come a day when you are so effed by looking at your computer screen, squinting your eyes to make a perfectly straight line, or making the most eye-catching brochure. Well, everybody will be there soon enough because that means you are just doing the right thing.
  3. Do / Be what your heart desires : If your heart tells you to be a clown, so be it, if your heart tells you to go to the mall so do it. Even though sometimes your heart wants something strange, follow it! Trust me you will feel accomplished and at least you are happy and on the right path. If you feel like exercising, go hit the gym, go on a jog, or whatever. But if you don’t feel like it, you don’t have to. Nobody forces you to (unless you’re on a program).
  4. Find reasons why you are doing it : Now if you know what to do and to be, find your reasons why you should follow what your heart desire. If you want to resign from your current job, find your reasons why. If you think your job is not giving you what you need like challenges or enough salary that you deserve, then why not? You are worth more than that. Or if you want to break up with your significant other, find a reason why. Is it because he/she cheating on you and you don’t want to give them any last chance? Or maybe because you feel like you are in a destructive relationship that is going nowhere and you feel like you are just wasting time with him/her? Fine, end whatever that needs to be as long as you have the right reason why.
  5. Have enough rest : If you are having a very hectic week, schedule at least one day from your weekend to take a full day rest. Just do nothing and be lazy for a day, it won’t kill your brain cells and make you become stupid or unproductive. Wake up late, stay in your bed for 18 hours, call for a pizza delivery, binge watch Netflix all day, or read a very good novel, maybe you don’t even have to take a shower (at least brush your teeth).
  6. Go have a day / night out : Don’t lock yourself in the same places every day. Office – home – office – home. Take one day of your weekend to go out, have a nice lunch, go on a picnic, or go shopping, or maybe you can visit pubs on Friday night if you have already scheduled for a rest on Saturday, or you can go out for dinner in a cozy restaurant on a Wednesday night.
  7. Keep in touch with your old friends : Arrange for a meet up with some old friends, catch up what has been left, talk about those good old days.
  8. Go on a date with your so : Haven’t been in any fun and romantic activities with your so because of that loaded paperwork? Have a spontaneous date night. Maybe on Monday night, to ease the next four days, ask your so to go on a fancy dinner or movie date. You don’t have wait for a celebration to go fancy dining, there will always be something to be celebrated for, your relationship, your children, your job that you love, anything. Or you want to cook at home and make something special? Put on those scented candles, spice it up a bit in the bedroom after home-cooked fancy dinner, just forget that weekend is still a long way to go.
  9. Surround yourself with the people who are grateful for your well-being : That means those people need you and they love having you to be around them. Surround yourself with these kinds of people, you will appreciate yourself more then.
  10. Be grateful : God loves those who are grateful. Being grateful that means you are accepting whole heartedly of what God has given you. It is like giving someone a birthday present and seeing them happy and thankful, you feel like you want to give them more. So, don’t forget to be grateful.

The Unexpected

There are two kinds of people on this planet;

  1. The one who’s expecting the unexpected
  2. The one who just lets the unexpected happens

I am both, I guess. I chase opportunities. But when they take some times, I usually back away slowly but leave my whole heart on the way hoping it will come again. Then boom, the unexpected happens when I am almost losing all hopes. I don’t know what God has planned, but mostly He writes my story with so much minor plot twists. They twirl my world a little bit too much in here and there, making a small hurricane without the storm.

You can imagine how much the life of a 22 year old has gone up and down. It fluctuates every five minutes. One minute she feels lucky, the next minute she is attacked by the series of unfortunate events. It can be anything! From the moment she opens her eyes and even before she takes the first breath, something will change quickly. Maybe she gets a text from a cute guy blessing her morning, or maybe even a break up text.

One night, the haunting hour has not yet passed by. The phone in my hand kept ding-ing with the multiple texts from three people at the same time. One text full of jokes, gossips, and curses. The other text full with recalling back happy memories. The last text full with one-sided arguments and recriminations.

I cried and then laughed. Then when there were spare times away from them, I’m brooding. Looking up at the ceiling, staring at the flowery beam around the lamp, thinking I might end one of the conversations, having enough plot twists for one night. The texts of jokes, gone without closure. The texts with memories, never been opened since. So I decided to finish the arguments instead, anyway I never like it to sleep with a head full of thoughts.

A small plot twist. The arguments turned into my breaking point where I no longer believe in the future. One thing that flipped it upside down, the proof of a chance to find a long lost human being that was once my whole world but a tornado blew him away. One future closing up, another one coming in ahead. Maybe, just a 0.50% maybe because it had to get through a bumpy road up and down some hills.

Another small plot twist. The arguments continued without ending, even after ignoring seemed ruthless. A small pop-out on my screen turned the frown right-side-up, creating a heat that caused blush. In a single click, I know what I had to do! To make more plot twist, but this one was the biggest of all. The major one and I knew my life would change forever. I threw away the only toxic in my life and I could feel a load of burdens lifted up from my chest. If you are a woman, you would probably know how it feels. You know that feeling of freedom and relieve when you finally take off your bra after 12 hours? I know right?!

Then, yes I took small and careful steps to take the risk. I am not the kind of person who is scared of being alone. I rarely crave for a relationship, I am the other wise. I always have been in chains longing for liberty. But I still considered gambling to win the war I had lost once, seven years ago. I have had taken the same chance when God cracked open the door a little, but my move was reckless and aimless. I hit the door instead of entering, he was gone again by the time I stood back up. Then, I waited… waited… until God opened the door big enough for me to slip in smoothly.

“Hey, how are you? It’s been so long since the last time we talked.” 

I knew it, waiting patiently would finally make everything worth in the end. God is opening so many doors and behind each of them are the plot twists you can make your own self. Big and small. The biggest plot twist in my entire life (yet), the return of a missing human being. It sounds simple, but if you know how I had lost all of my hopes but still leaving my whole heart with that person, this is a triumph almost like a lifetime achievement. Well, because it takes a lifetime for me to be able to reach for it. Once I have it in my hands, it will always remain there.

So, hold on to the unexpected. Hold on to your dreams. When you almost lose all hopes, back away a little, slowly, but if you think your heart belongs there then leave it somewhere along the way. Someday it will find the way back to you along with the dreams you almost gave up on.

Be both kind of person. Expect and let it happens when the time comes.

Billie Eilish – Bored

Billie Eilish – Bored

The games you played were never fun
You’d say you’d stay but then you’d run

Giving you what you’re begging for
Giving you what you say I need
I don’t want any settled scores
I just want you to set me free
Giving you what you’re begging for
Giving you what you say I need, say I need

I’m not afraid anymore
What makes you sure you’re all I need?
Forget about it
When you walk out the door and leave me torn
You’re teaching me to live without it
Bored, I’m so bored, I’m so bored, so bored

I’m home alone, you’re God knows where
I hope you don’t think that shit’s fair

Giving you all you want and more
Giving you every piece of me
But I will never can afford
I just want you to love for free
Can’t you see that I’m getting bored?
Giving you every piece of me, piece of me

I’m not afraid anymore
What makes you sure you’re all I need?
Forget about it
When you walk out the door and leave me torn
You’re teaching me to live without it
I’m so bored, I’m so bored, so bored

Giving you what you’re begging for
Giving you what you say I need
I don’t want any settled scores
I just want you to set me free
Giving you what you’re begging for
Giving you what you say I need, say I need

I’m not afraid anymore
What makes you sure you’re all I need?
Forget about it
And when you walk out the door and leave me torn
You’re teaching me to live without it

November 9

November 9 by Colleen Hoover

This is my very first book review and my first Colleen Hoover’s book. I’ve seen people reading her books everywhere, but I don’t know somehow I hadn’t read one. When I bought this book, I read the little description behind it. It didn’t give me that curiosity I usually feel when I pick books. But I bought it because I hadn’t read the famous Colleen Hoover’s book.

Okay now onto the book.

What interests me from this book is that the two characters, Ben and Fallon. Why? Because Fallon is a lot like me; insecure about all things mostly about her physical looks, unconfident, always underestimate herself, and her head that is full of ‘what if’ questions. Maybe her character relates to so many girls in this world. And that is what makes her special, what makes this book is worth reading.

Ben. He is sweet, sometimes can be too cocky and blunt. But that is what I like about him. He reminds me of someone I know, I care about too. Okay, I’ll stop being personal here. Ben is so unexpected, or maybe he is too predictable. I don’t know. He can be both. He is smart. Fallon is smart too. They both are. But Ben always has his ways to outsmart Fallon, from the way he talks, the way he defends himself when Fallon starts to accuse him being all wrong.

The only part that I don’t fancy is the beginning of this book. I don’t want to give away the piece of the story because it will be a spoiler. But, really if there is someone who dares to do that unexpected thing like what Ben did in the beginning of the book, seems like impossible. I mean, it is not a smooth opening for a romance book. It is just too easy, too instant.

I could already predict the end of the story, like who actually Ben is in the beginning. But I had no idea that the story would have such a plot twist like that. I mean, IT WAS JUST AWSOME.

My MOST FAVORITE part in this book is, of course the romance itself! When Ben and Fallon are so in love they can’t be separated! I love how they’re connection is just so…..real. Like I could feel what Fallon feels when they fall in love with each other, when the uncertainty is always in the middle on their way, when they have fights and doubts, but when they’re sure about each other that what touches me the most!

I smiled the whole way through the very last page of this book. Ben and Fallon. They’re just like every other relationship in this world.

I even thought about doing the same thing, like Ben and Fallon do. One day, every year, for maybe a year because I’ll be 23 this year. So, yeah…….

I don’t know….. I can’t really express what I’m thinking about this book. Like no words can really describe anything about this book.

I love Colleen Hoover! I’m addicted to her books now….


How funny it feels like when you are looking back to your past and see how much your life has changed over the years. I don’t see that girl anymore. The girl who used to haunt me. The girl with thick glasses and a tight Ballerina bun on top of her head. She’s never really gone from my life. She always there. Sometimes when I’m alone, or when the memories suddenly come back to me, I can feel her presence inside me. She is still there waiting to come out from her hiding.

I can’t barely even look at the old photos of the girl in my room. She doesn’t have much because she never appreciated what she had in her life worth captured. But it hurts me every time I realize that the girl was the same person as me. I still have her old belongings. Her over-sized sweaters and over dramatically thick jackets, her loose shirts which she bought from the boy’s section, leggings that have holes in them and Mom jeans. I still have her thick purple glasses which used to be her favorite. She wore them everyday to school but never on weekends. When I asked her, ‘Why are you wearing those glasses only at school?’ and she would reply, ‘Because I always look bad in the morning to go to school. My bed face will never fade at least until lunch. But if I take them off during lunch, my eyes will start to be blurry.’ Then she kept on wearing them for the past three years. She was proud on the thickness of her glasses. They were heavy and made her nose hurt at night. The thicker and bigger her glasses were, the better. When I asked why, she replied, ‘Because then the glasses will cover up half of my face. I feel invisible and it makes me feel comfortable.’

I was screaming for the past three years, ‘NO! NO! NO!’ I was in pain to hear that answer, ‘You can’t be comfortable when you draw back from the crowds! You have to be visible! Let everyone sees you, let them know you! You can’t live like this for the rest of your life!’

She didn’t. She disappeared. She’s been hiding in the place where people will no longer remember her. Everyone thinks she’s dead. Everyone assumes she never even existed in the first place. She is good at hiding or being invisible. She is now living in the moment called My Past. She is not dead, she did exist. She is still living inside me. Sometimes I can feel her taking control of my body, but it was just in a slight moment. I wanted her to get back out there again, let me take her hiding place, let’s switch again like before we went to high school. But she sometimes refuses, sometimes she just doesn’t want to hear me out.

That night, I was rummaging my old closet. Her clothes were all still there, taking most of my space. She had few, but it was the size that took up the space. I remembered that shopping for clothes was always her least favorite thing to do in the world. She would prefer to stay home and read fictions, or watch adventure movies while snacking her favorite chips. I asked her again, ‘Why do you hate shopping that much? Other girls love it, normal girls do it so often.’ She would answer in her raspy and weary voice, ‘Because girls buy things that fit them. Even they don’t need clothes that much, but they always look good wearing tight clothes. That is why normal girls shop. I’m not even normal. I don’t shop. Nothing fits in me.’

She was embarrassed to shop for clothes in boy’s section or pregnancy section without her mom. So, she usually let her mom do the shopping for her. But far too many times and for most of her girly clothes were a hand-down from her mom. She has this long flowery black dress that she loved so much. It was her mom’s. Her mom used to wear it in the early 1990’s during her three pregnancies. I was crying that night when I found the dress in my closet. This dress always looked ridiculous on her, it made her look old and……pregnant. But did she care? No. She felt beautiful in that dress. I tried it on for the first time ever after the girl was gone missing. The sleeveless dress kept sliding off of my shoulders. My lace bra popped out from the low V neck, showing me how she used to have enough breasts to be proud of. The dress covered up every less of my invisible curves. She could pull out the dress in her curves. She never agreed. She always called herself ‘fat’ ‘over-weight’ ‘plus plus size’ or ‘an obesity non-pregnant girl’.

She never loved herself. She always wanted to be beautiful like every other girl at school. But she didn’t even know what ‘beautiful’ means. She thought she did, beautiful means skinny. The more cheekbones and jaws appear around your face, the better. If your collar bones and ribs showed up in a tight dress, you are the most beautiful. The longer and thicker your hair is, you can conquer the world. More skin you show, more guys will ever fall into your beauty. More make up you put on, the sky will shine even brighter. The brand of your clothes take a huge part too. The more expensive, more popular you will be.

One night she cried in our room and talked to me.

“Why do guys have to be so mean to a girl like me? I know, I can’t fit in their girlfriend’s size. I know when I put on eye shadow and lipstick they will be calling me a clown. I know I can never wear mini skirts because they will be disgusted. I know it! I know what they think of me. I know that I am ugly, but do they have to be that mean?”

She sobbed. She meant it for a guy that she had a huge crush on. He was her classmate. He was not the most popular guy in school. He was the popular guy’s sidekick, never the hero. That what she likes about him. He stood out to be the helper, to be the number two (more to be the infinite number because he has tons of popular friends). He was the quite one in class, the geeky one, he was smart too. He was full of mystery. But he was also funny, because he tends to make silly expressions when he was lost in his own fantasy. He used to stare at the wall, blank-faced, and lips parted apart making a huge gap. He could stay like that for two hours. She always giggled finding him out in his trance.

He ignored her. He never talked to her, not even a single word. She never had the courage to talk to him first. But that day, she was assigned in a group of two with him and they had to share a book. He even barely wanted to come to the table next to her. When he did, he shoved away the chair and sit as far away as he could. She was hurt but didn’t show it. She nudged the edge of the book closer to him but away from her. He sat too far.

“Here, you can read it first.”

He stared at her for so long, but not in a sweet kind of way, but in a disbelief kind of way. When his friends started to tease him, he pushed the book back to her and never looked back at her. He stared at the blackboard in the front class the entire period and rushed out the door when he heard the bell started to ring.

The next day, she heard rumors that her crush was hitting on a freshman (they were seniors). Yes, she found out herself. He was staring at this tiny, cute, and princesslike girl in the far corner of the cafeteria. She was laughing with her group of friends, consisted of the most popular freshmen (of course). She wore a mini skirt and a mini t-shirt, were those her baby sister’s clothes? 

Well, this world is never fair. She went home crushed that day and swore to anyone she would never fall in love ever again. ‘Why does it hurt to fall in love? I thought falling in love is everyone’s favorite time period in life,’ and apparently not everyone’s.

‘I promise, I will never be that kind of girl. I will never fall in love with anyone. I will never try to be beautiful and to be skinny. I don’t want to change who I am. I am never going to fancy make up, expensive and mini clothing, or act dumb to get myself a guy.’ I smiled though I didn’t know why to hear her eagerly and so determined to accept who she was.

I kept rummaging her old clothes that night until I forgot everything about her.

But now, something hit me, so hard like a car crash. She is not hiding all this time. I made her to. I locked her up. It was me this whole time. I pushed her away. Or it can be worse, I might have even killed her. I am running to the nearest mirror in the house and I am going to study myself there for hours.

am her worst nightmare. I broke her promise. I have become the girl she never wanted.

am trying to be the girl that she always hated. I made her disappear. Now, she’s actually gone! I can’t find her inside me! I’ve killed her! I’ve killed myself!

am my own enemy…


Do What You Love. Love What You Do

Intelligence cannot be measured by numbers or how many experience you have. But it can be measured by what you can do and the willingness to try something new. Albert Einstein once said, “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” 

Can we relate Einstein’s statement to the system of nowadays job recruitment ? Yes.

How? Let us see that most of companies these days are MNCs or multinational corporations. The kind of company that set the most highest standards in hiring employees. Do you know what are the standards? You probably do, but let us remind you what they are.

  1. Foreign language proficiency
  2. GPA >3.50
  3. TOEFL scores >600 or IELTS >6.5
  4. 2 years minimum experience

In most of unemployment cases, people cannot meet the high standards (especially fresh graduates) because from one or two eligibility is hard to be fulfilled. Believe it or not, fresh graduates are human too. Fresh graduates have their own stories behind the lack of their numbers to meet the high standards. Yes, foreign language proficiency might be suitable. The problem that comes with it is how to find out the TOEFL or IELTS scores? “Take the test!” Would you pay the expense? “Ah, it only costs you several hundreds rupiah!” What if this person is one of the students in need? Several hundreds rupiah will probably matter most for their empty, rumbling maw. No, they do not complain or this is certainly not a protest.

GPA or Grade-point Average is crucial, everyone knows. Certainly, GPA will be the first thing to judge or to be assessed. Will you hire someone with <3.00 GPA? Do you know how this someone got a very low and shameful GPA? No. In another way to say it, fresh graduates also experience hard times during their studies. Most probably, they were enrolled in the study filled that their parents chose for them. The parents demand for a Bachelor of Arts in International Relations, but the children have always been dreaming to get a Bachelor degree in creative writing. Psychologists will figure out that the children will probably just graduate with a potluck grade-point, or maybe there is another way. But of course it depends on the children themselves. At least they graduated, right?

The experience they require seems arduously impossible to deny. No, fresh graduates do not have such a long-term experience of work because they just graduated. How are they supposed to get any experience if all the companies require the same? Will the experience of 2 years internship enough to cover the standards? No, because they want more and better.

The point of it all is that everyone is willing to learn, and that everyone should work the job they love. It is better to hire someone that has the passion rather than hire someone with experience or high GPA but no enthusiasm. My dream job is to be a writer, writing as an obligation of work suits me. Well, that is what companies should consider to hire someone. See the passion and the eagerness for the work, not the numbers they have in a piece of paper.

Henry David Thoreau once stated in his book book of Life Without Principle, “Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for the love of it.” 

Most of employees these days working their jobs with the reason, “I have to earn money, if I want to survive.” Ask them how hard it is to get up every morning, to dress nicely, to impress someone they do not even like just because they want to get a raise, to sit in front of the computer screen for over eight hours working on the same thing everyday while they are busy daydreaming about doing other things they love even more than what they are doing right now. According to Forbes, two million Americans are quitting their jobs every month. Rather than taking chances to have someone quitting the job, hire an ardent person who will be fully determined to work their socks off everyday because they love what they do.

This is the famous quote that everyone probably ever heard, “Do what you love. Love what you do.”

Hiring someone with the passion, the ability, the willingness, the eagerness will make this quote make sense and even better. Here is an idea;

Do what you love – Passionate. A pleasurable pastime activity.

Love what you do – By forced. Bridled.

Do what you love, love what you do – Dream job. Hobby as a job. Future carrier. Positive minds.

Simple as that.

“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.” – Maya Angelou.

Are You in Love?

Hey there lovers, you might be wondering right now about what is it that your heart feels about him or her am I right? It’s a common thing to suffer from this kind of situation. I mean, everybody’s been there including me. So many times. You are clueless about it, about what you should do and what shouldn’t be. I mean, sometimes when someone still can’t let go of the past, stuck in the good old days and there’s another person who’s trying to help you to move on but still confused rather to go with the flow or keep your heart aching.

So, don’t you worry! I have the indications of you lovers who might be in love for real and not just to go with the flow just to get yourself moved on.

First thing to be sure is that you’re not moving on from anybody. or Not yet. Ha.

1. It might be crazy, but try to compare him or her with the latest person you fell for. I mean, it’s not the kind that you have to rebound with the memories and will only make you suffer more. Just simply compare with your own reaction. If you fell for A and now you are confused on B, see how your reactions between these two when they’re popping out of nowhere in front of you or when they suddenly text you. When you’re in love, you can tell by your heartbeats, your pupils, and your breathing.

2. When this person is missing, there will be two things that happen. You look for him, or you don’t even realize that person is missing. If you like him, you’ll be looking for him.

3. If you are daydreaming, that person starts to cross your mind and you keep thinking about something good (or romantic) with him or maybe even making a scene about it, it’s maybe you have a crush on him not falling in love. You know it’s different, right?

4. When you’re thinking about your past with someone, and suddenly this badboy appears in your mind so suddenly without you noticing, THEN YOU’RE in love.

5. You think about him, not mostly but at least sometimes.

6. You care for him.

7. You can bear texting with him from 11 pm to 5 am without stopping.

8. You smile when he suddenly appears after missing for so long.

9. You don’t feel like ‘you have to’ reply the texts, but because you ‘want to’.

10. You blush when he flirts with you and you smile a lot.

11. You have a good sleep after chatting with him.

12. You want him to make a move, you don’t want to go plain like skimmed milk.

13. Obviously you want to show your best for him or in any other words, you’re not who you really are when you are with that person because you are afraid that this person might go away and doesn’t like your personality or anything. These are only your negative thoughts, they appear so many times when you’re in love. But if you think that this person is not someone special, you won’t even care if this person will run away, I mean who is she or he?

14. I’m out of signs, so here’s the last…. You will know that you’re in love if you start listening to your heart. Stop listening to your head, because your head is your own ego and your heart is your compassion. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be with certain people, but you will find out without noticing. Because falling in love is not easy, that’s why it has to be so complicated at first. If it’s not, then you know this person will not stay for long. Don’t just go with the flow, but consider your future with this person.

OKAY…. I might not be good in love thingy because I’m no expert. But trust me, I am in love right now. It’s been a year almost two years. At first, I was on the same page with you guys. But I tried to listen to my heart even though I might lose the chance and I’d be so devastated  if I lose him, or maybe I don’t want to fall in love ever again just because I don’t want to be heartbroken anymore. I kept saying that after the post breakups with my ex-es, but there is always someone you won’t even realize would appear and light up your world again.

Here’s a motto…

“You’ve got nothing to lose.”

Okay, so it’s all up to you, your heart, your feeling, I can’t constrain that because you’re the only one who can.

Good luck, lovers….


What a great desire to travel and rove about somewhere. This is a magnificent rounded-shape of art, such a great big world. There are 7 continents or according to many scientists and geographers there are 6 continents, 196 countries, and 2469501 cities, 600000 towns in the world. Buy a map, pack your stuff, and choose one out of 7 or 6 continents randomly. This is fun, or this is going to be fun.

Point a finger in any direction to the spacious map above the bed. It was directed America, to The New World so what it is called . Which part of America that would be the first destination? let’s grab the map of America and point a finger with eyes closed tightly for a moment. Swing that absolute hand, up and down, left and right. Stop whenever it likes, wherever it was directed. Touch the ocean, the ground, touch the lust to be in the greatest adventure. There are two parts, North and South. Whichever part of America that finger is pointing at, it would be the beginning of the greatest adventure.

North. 23 countries of it. Let’s open the map to a minor crease. Do the same and see where you are heading. The United States of America. Yeah, the greatest adventure to begin with. But, it is too broad for such a tiny creature to travel alone in such a modern state. Let’s do another trick to choose one specific state out of 50. How? Write all the alphabetic letters in pieces of paper. Each letter in a tiny piece, so there will be 26 tiny pieces. Put them in an opened jar, and shake it solemnly. Do not get too excited and do not let yourself be sloppy, or you will only drop the jar and break it like you mess up your life. Take one out, then carefully unroll or just simply open it. What letter is there inside it?

N. There are too many Ns’ in the US…

  1. North Carolina
  2. New York
  3. New Mexico
  4. North Dakota
  5. Nebraska
  6. Nevada
  7. New Hampshire
  8. New Jersey

How to choose?

What month is it when you were born? choose according the number of your birth month. But if it is 10 and above, choose it according to the last number of your birth month. Like November, it’s 11, so pick number 1. If it’s October, then it’s ten, then choose number 1 because there is no 0. Easy?

December. It’s 12. That means, the final destination would be….



New York.

What It Is

Hellooo, music loverssss!!!

Good morning, afternoon, night, or early dawn…

This is the song for today’s blue feeling. Feel a little better along this song. I couldn’t find the original song from Kodaline’s soundcloud, so it was very nice to find one from someone else’s. Here its is, What It Is by Kodaline from their album Love Like This.


So you’re standing in the parking lot of life
And you’re trying to figure out your fate tonight
And you hear a sound coming out of the car radio
Saying “son, if you don’t learn, then you will never know”
So you try to drag your feet down to the bar
When you startin’ to forget just who you are
And they told you it was written in the stars
But you’ve never had a chance to look that far

Yeah, it’s just the way it goes
Maybe you die young before you’re old
Yeah, it’s just the way it is
Nobody’s gonna tell you how to live

In a world that changes everyday,
It’s easy to get lost along the way.
In a world that’s never as it seems,
Where people try to buy and sell their dreams
Where people try to buy and sell their dreams

Yeah, it’s just the way it goes.
Maybe you die young before you’re old
Yeah, it’s just the way it is.
Nobody’s gonna tell you how to live.
Nobody’s gonna tell you how to live.

(It’s just the way it goes)
(Maybe you’ll die young before you’re old)
(Yeah, it’s just the way it is)
(Nobody’s gonna tell you how to live)
(Nobody’s gonna tell you how to live)

Nobody’s gonna tell you how to live.
Nobody’s gonna tell you how to live.
Cause nobody understands just what it is