“There is something about you,” she said in the bathroom. I just came out of the cubicle to wash my hands and to fix my hair.
“Excuse me?” I asked in a complete utter surprise.
“I can see it in your eyes.” she could not take her sight off of me.
“What exactly is that if I may know?” as I smiled politely.
“Pain,” she said suddenly narrowing her eyes.
I did not say anything because I was too shocked that she could see through me. I do feel sad and so much in pain today, but I have not told any body. I have been pondering all day, is it because of my supervisor who is a total pain in the ass or is it because I am brought back to the memories of my dark days?
“Your eyes, they reflect pain. It is like you are unhappy and you are still holding on to something. You still can’t accept the torment that someone had given you, you still can’t… is it forgive or forget?” she said still studying my face.
“How do you…” I almost ran out of the bathroom, but my hair was half done.
“Darling, you have such a beautiful face. But your eyes, I can see so much pain in you! Whatever happened in the past, you have to let it go.”
“Well…” I was almost telling her the story behind everything but contemplating.
“Can you see this?” pointing to her eyes. “This is what exhaustion looks like. But every time when I see you, that sadness in your eyes, they never fade. It is a pity because you are a pretty girl.”
“Maybe it is just because today is a bad day for me.”
“I hope so,” she said while walking away out of the bathroom. “I do really hope it is only today. Don’t be sad all the time, let your bautiful face glistens with all the happiness. So people can enjoy seeing how pretty you are.”
I was still standing inside the bathroom, with the water still running from the faucet, I felt so naked. I have never felt so naked in front of a stranger before. I am not the best poker face player in this universe. But I wish somehow, I have a thick mask to cover up the draining energy out of my eyes.
I just wish that there is someone out there waiting for me to let him put on the mask right to my face and stick it there forever.

Interlude 1

A baby is a reminder to cherish every inch of adversity, to connect one life to another, to secure the sin of the past. Parents are the help for it to stand up, the only reason its life is demolished, the only cure of a loss state of mind. A life is the vessel of age and maturity, a crockery of the sweetness of times. Its heart is the enemy, the killing zone, a bomb that can calcified in anytime it’s not ready to. What life has got to do with hearts if people only use their states of mind to reflect their own words? People are hypocrites. They have thousands of faces and never showed one, whereas the masks dissolved and it fused into their shallow souls. People are irrational delusion creatures with the body of a human and the sense of animals. How can they survive the Amazon of their own egos and apathy?

Dangerous Woman

You want a game?

I’ll be your opponent.

You want a competition?

I’ll be your worst enemy.

You want to win?

I’ll be the one impeding your way.

You want to play nice?

I’ll be the dangerous one.

You want attention?

I’ll be the one distracting your spotlight.

You want the trophy?

I’ll be the one hiding it from you.

You want to defeat me?

Try me.

You want to tell the whole world I’m bad?

Go ahead.

I’m a dangerous woman.

I can play bad,

so badly.

Once you enter the ring,

you can’t escape when death becomes the referee.

I’m a dangerous woman.


or I’ll be in every single one of your nightmares.