Someone Better or Nothing at All

Have you ever experienced losing your loved ones? I have. I lost one of my older sisters to an accident and I was old enough to suffer from a great condolence. Some people lost their families when they were still an infant. Does the feeling still consider the same? But they won’t suffer as much because they barely knew the people who leave them behind. There were five, now it becomes just the four of us. We lost the middle child, the barrier between the rulers and the followers, and she was always the wisest among all of us. I was supposed to be the rebel in the house, but she always reminded me that I have to be a good example for the youngest brother. If I kept acting reckless, who would watch him when I was the only person left in the house.

Two of our oldest siblings had already been married and she was one step closer to graduation and leaving me in charge of becoming the oldest child. Yes, she did leave me in charge but why did she have to leave me so far away and a little bit too soon? She did not say she would leave for good! It’s no fair that nobody knew.
But with her leaving all of us, it taught the four of us to be more grateful for each other’s company. She brought us closer and she made us understand truely about the love of a family. We become more giving to one another and I can feel the presence of God among us whenever we are together during Christmas. God brings her along on this special day and we become whole again every once in a year.
I become more responsible with my actions. When I was still naive, I used to be so mad to everyone all the time. But she taught me how to forgive and to accept fate. People are still hurting me from every corner of my life, but then I will always remember the smile on her face. I thought I would cope in sadness for too long and that my life would be ruined. But look at me now…by accepting fate and forgiving all the guilts in this world I am standing still and tall in places I thought I would never be, receiving achievements that I thought was just for people who have not through enough pains to get there, and my life goals are crossed out one by one.
The lost of someone you love can be two things, I know it is an ugly experience and a deathly pain, but you can be either someone better or nothing at all. When you lost someone important in your life, God is teaching you to be ready for anything at all whether you like it or not.

Billie Eilish – idontwannabeyouanymore


Don’t be that way
Fall apart twice a day
I just wish you could feel what you say
Show, never tell
But I know you too well
Kind of mood that you wish you could sell

If teardrops could be bottled
There’d be swimming pools filled by models
Told “that tight dress is what makes you a whore”
If “I love you” was a promise
Would you break it, if you’re honest
Tell the mirror what you know she’s heard before
I don’t wanna be you anymore

Hands getting cold
Losing feeling’s getting old
Was I made from a broken mold
Hurt, I can’t shake
We’ve made every mistake
Only you know the way that I break

If teardrops could be bottled
There’d be swimming pools filled by models
Told “that tight dress is what makes you a whore”
If “I love you” was a promise
Would you break it, if you’re honest
Tell the mirror what you know she’s heard before
I don’t wanna be you
I don’t wanna be you
I don’t wanna be you anymore

“There is something about you,” she said in the bathroom. I just came out of the cubicle to wash my hands and to fix my hair.
“Excuse me?” I asked in a complete utter surprise.
“I can see it in your eyes.” she could not take her sight off of me.
“What exactly is that if I may know?” as I smiled politely.
“Pain,” she said suddenly narrowing her eyes.
I did not say anything because I was too shocked that she could see through me. I do feel sad and so much in pain today, but I have not told any body. I have been pondering all day, is it because of my supervisor who is a total pain in the ass or is it because I am brought back to the memories of my dark days?
“Your eyes, they reflect pain. It is like you are unhappy and you are still holding on to something. You still can’t accept the torment that someone had given you, you still can’t… is it forgive or forget?” she said still studying my face.
“How do you…” I almost ran out of the bathroom, but my hair was half done.
“Darling, you have such a beautiful face. But your eyes, I can see so much pain in you! Whatever happened in the past, you have to let it go.”
“Well…” I was almost telling her the story behind everything but contemplating.
“Can you see this?” pointing to her eyes. “This is what exhaustion looks like. But every time when I see you, that sadness in your eyes, they never fade. It is a pity because you are a pretty girl.”
“Maybe it is just because today is a bad day for me.”
“I hope so,” she said while walking away out of the bathroom. “I do really hope it is only today. Don’t be sad all the time, let your bautiful face glistens with all the happiness. So people can enjoy seeing how pretty you are.”
I was still standing inside the bathroom, with the water still running from the faucet, I felt so naked. I have never felt so naked in front of a stranger before. I am not the best poker face player in this universe. But I wish somehow, I have a thick mask to cover up the draining energy out of my eyes.
I just wish that there is someone out there waiting for me to let him put on the mask right to my face and stick it there forever.

The Unexpected

There are two kinds of people on this planet;

  1. The one who’s expecting the unexpected
  2. The one who just lets the unexpected happens

I am both, I guess. I chase opportunities. But when they take some times, I usually back away slowly but leave my whole heart on the way hoping it will come again. Then boom, the unexpected happens when I am almost losing all hopes. I don’t know what God has planned, but mostly He writes my story with so much minor plot twists. They twirl my world a little bit too much in here and there, making a small hurricane without the storm.

You can imagine how much the life of a 22 year old has gone up and down. It fluctuates every five minutes. One minute she feels lucky, the next minute she is attacked by the series of unfortunate events. It can be anything! From the moment she opens her eyes and even before she takes the first breath, something will change quickly. Maybe she gets a text from a cute guy blessing her morning, or maybe even a break up text.

One night, the haunting hour has not yet passed by. The phone in my hand kept ding-ing with the multiple texts from three people at the same time. One text full of jokes, gossips, and curses. The other text full with recalling back happy memories. The last text full with one-sided arguments and recriminations.

I cried and then laughed. Then when there were spare times away from them, I’m brooding. Looking up at the ceiling, staring at the flowery beam around the lamp, thinking I might end one of the conversations, having enough plot twists for one night. The texts of jokes, gone without closure. The texts with memories, never been opened since. So I decided to finish the arguments instead, anyway I never like it to sleep with a head full of thoughts.

A small plot twist. The arguments turned into my breaking point where I no longer believe in the future. One thing that flipped it upside down, the proof of a chance to find a long lost human being that was once my whole world but a tornado blew him away. One future closing up, another one coming in ahead. Maybe, just a 0.50% maybe because it had to get through a bumpy road up and down some hills.

Another small plot twist. The arguments continued without ending, even after ignoring seemed ruthless. A small pop-out on my screen turned the frown right-side-up, creating a heat that caused blush. In a single click, I know what I had to do! To make more plot twist, but this one was the biggest of all. The major one and I knew my life would change forever. I threw away the only toxic in my life and I could feel a load of burdens lifted up from my chest. If you are a woman, you would probably know how it feels. You know that feeling of freedom and relieve when you finally take off your bra after 12 hours? I know right?!

Then, yes I took small and careful steps to take the risk. I am not the kind of person who is scared of being alone. I rarely crave for a relationship, I am the other wise. I always have been in chains longing for liberty. But I still considered gambling to win the war I had lost once, seven years ago. I have had taken the same chance when God cracked open the door a little, but my move was reckless and aimless. I hit the door instead of entering, he was gone again by the time I stood back up. Then, I waited… waited… until God opened the door big enough for me to slip in smoothly.

“Hey, how are you? It’s been so long since the last time we talked.” 

I knew it, waiting patiently would finally make everything worth in the end. God is opening so many doors and behind each of them are the plot twists you can make your own self. Big and small. The biggest plot twist in my entire life (yet), the return of a missing human being. It sounds simple, but if you know how I had lost all of my hopes but still leaving my whole heart with that person, this is a triumph almost like a lifetime achievement. Well, because it takes a lifetime for me to be able to reach for it. Once I have it in my hands, it will always remain there.

So, hold on to the unexpected. Hold on to your dreams. When you almost lose all hopes, back away a little, slowly, but if you think your heart belongs there then leave it somewhere along the way. Someday it will find the way back to you along with the dreams you almost gave up on.

Be both kind of person. Expect and let it happens when the time comes.

Young in Love

 


[verse 1]
I used to think it’s funny
How you go from black to white
And now I think it’s funny
Where are you tonight?
Just a boy with a knife
You were staring right at my heart
So you make a start
Just as i’m making it

[pre-Chorus]
(did you forget) that you opened up to her
(did you forget) that you opened up to her

[Chorus]
Cause we once were in love
And I once was all yours
We were once young, we were once young
We were once young, we were once young in love
In love, in love, in love

[verse 2]
You are a mean boy
Lucky you keep mostly to yourself
You didn’t want to be kind or accept any help
Dark is the color of your heart
Is that why you locked it up?

[pre-Chorus]
(did you forget) that you opened up to her
(did you forget) that you opened up to her

[Chorus]
Cause we once were in love
And I once was all yours
We were once young, we were once young
We were once young, we were once young in love
In love, in love, in love

[bridge]
So bad, so sad
Ain’t nobody ever coming back
So bad, so sad
Ain’t nobody ever fallin’ in love
In love, in love, in love

Cause we once were in love
And I once was all yours
Cause we once were in love
And I once was all yours

Persevere, my friends!

What makes a person happy? Define happy!
What do you think a happiness means? Is eating your favorite food a happiness? Is sleeping early after a long day a happiness? Is working in a company with high salary a happiness? Once again, define what happiness means!
For me, happiness is when you are living your life the way it is supposed to be. Do you understand what I am saying?
Living is easy, but surviving is a different kind of matter. If you think your life is what you define happy, are you doing what you love? or are you just being grateful? Being grateful is important, but if you do it just to love what you do, you are not happy. At all.
People sometimes say, “I am happy with my life and I am grateful for what I have right now.” Yeah, by that it means there are still things in your life you wish to fulfill but you can’t because you stop reaching for it somehow to be grateful. Be grateful, but do not stop reaching for things you want to achieve and how you want to live your life.
It is easy for me to say that while I am still not happy with my own life, I know. How can I even say this such thing? Because I am trying so hard to get my life together.
Why am I not happy with my life? Maybe because I am not living in grace? NO! I am grateful that God still gives me so many opportunitiies to take, to give so many second chances, to help me through my depression. But do you even question why God still offers that many opportunities for you to take? Because God believes that you can lead yourself into what you called happiness by yourself. In the end, all the choices are for you to make.
If you are a fresh graduate, take some times off from the outside world. Give yourself a little credit, or in other word a reward, after wasting your sleep for 12 years! Take naps, take trips to anywhere you want, go to the beach or go camping, stay home all day or all week finish that tv series you have been wanting to watch, stay up all night scrolling through your instagram feed or binge watch Netflix, read a Trilogy, wake up very late that you miss your breakfast and it becomes a routine not to have one, exercise as much as you want (it is time to get your shape back!), take classes like cooking class or Spanish or anything really, basically do all the things you can before you go back to ruining your life. Once you go back to having morning – night routines every five days in a week, you will never be truely enjoying more of your years. Youth is far beyond your reach and you will never get it back. People say, “Ah youth, you’re still 20 something, you are still young and free.” YOUNG AND FREE? Who are you calling young and free? I can only see a destitute human being who hates her life. Yeah well, age does not lie but the experience in your life does. I am still 22 (soon will be 23. Yikes!), with small figures like a 15 year old (some part of my body won’t grow along the biological infancy of a human being), but I’m dressed by the Law of maturity looking like I am a 30 year old woman, living my life daily like a 40 year old. Really, on the inside I am screaming to put on those ripped jeans everyday with my knackered converse and hanging out with friends at the beach with my H&M two piece.
But remember, you know it won’t last forever. You can’t always have fun without income. Unless, you know how to make money by doing really nothing at all, then sure why not!
Give yourself a time limit. 3 months – 1 year would be enough. By the time you are resting from reality, you will figure out what you want to do, who you want to be, and what kind of action you must take next. You will plan out a whole future ahead of you under your own command.
The mistake people often make is that once they graduate University, they go straight to focus on applying for a job (any kind really) that they nearly forget about their own mental health. Those vacant days of theirs are filled with stress and burdens for not having a job, they forget to fill them with some fun. They are often jealous watching their friends sitting in front of a computer all day thinking about vacation with a proper sleep and rest, hey those with no jobs still can have the opportunities that all the employed friends desire! Enjoy while it lasts!
Now, onto the employed and lifeless friends. Are you really okay with your job? Are you really enjoying your Monday? If you already hate a Monday, that means you are not okay with your job. If you are already complaining on Saturday night thinking that tomorrow is your last chance to have a rest or hang out, you should think twice to stay in your job. Consider taking another chance to have your life planned out but you still can enjoy it. Here is what you have to ask yourself, “How not to hate Mondays?” because if you can start to embrace just one day, the rest of the days will not be a problem.
I have friends both who hate their jobs and who love their jobs. Me? HAHA I am in the category of ‘Those Who are in Identity Crisis’ I will not lie, I truly deeply honestly hate my job. But I don’t complain as much as I used to (my first mistake is that I am just like all of those fresh graduates who are too eager to cut off youth in order to grow up so fast).
I realize that people who hate their job but they stay anyway are the kind of people with this mind, “I have to stay in this job if I want to survive!” it is all about money. You can always find money, but your own sanity is more important. My friends who love their jobs, I still cannot relate to them. I envy each and every one of them to talk about how their jobs are hard but worth the fight. The boss that is so nice you can’t possibly hate him or her. The colleagues that you always hang out with every night after work and on weekends and never really talk about how shitty their job is. I want that kind of feeling and experience, when they wake up every morning with a little a smile and a little bit of joy to survive another day. I want to be blessed, too.
My friends who hate their jobs, those I can easily relate too. Some of them have already quitted, some of them still stuck. We have the same opportunity to change our lives, from little scraps like finding a good job that will fit. I just realize, that those who are not enjoying things at work are the people who live under someone’s expectation but still push more. Persevere, my friends. Take all the opportunities you can get, improve, and just do what you love. Live your life well. If you hate your job, just quit! Don’t stress yourself so much. If you find no reason to stay, then why are you still reading this in front of your computer screen stealthily so that your boss will not find out you have been procrastinating your work?! Go out there, find your life purpose, find your happiness, find yourself! Be happy. Do not let anything or anyone hold you back.
Good luck!

Come out!

“Jillian?”

That sound whispers loudly once again through the small gaps of ventilation. It echoes in the dark.

I don’t recognize his voice, but why does he know my name? He is not from the Fantasy world I suppose.

“Jill, it’s me…” the voice continues. “William.”

Should I trust him?

William, my dear best friend in the orphanage. He came to this orphanage two days after my arrival. We were 10 months old then, we grew up together and became the closest friends in this house. Nothing could separate us, beside the moment when I took the murky passage that led me to Fantasy world and went missing for years. How many years? I suddenly can’t remember.

“Jillian, I know you’re in there.” Will says. “Please, do come out!”

Warmth is blanketing all of my body every time he says my name. William knows my hiding place, though I never took him in. He always pretends he never knew to protect me. I also never confronted him for keeping my hideout a secret, to protect him , to protect both of us.

“I won’t hurt you,” he says once again, pleading me to do what he says.

I take a sudden deep breath. I wasn’t breathing this whole time, was I?

William’s voice is different from the last time I heard it. He sounds deeper, calmer, and more mature. How long have I been missing out his life?

I try to crane my numb legs, but they hit the wall so hard. William and I both startle from the sound.

“Jill, come out now please before someone wakes up!”

What should I do?

What if it is the Minotaur who talks to me all this time? Pretending to be Will. But how did the Minotaur knows who my best friend is?

“Don’t be scared,” he says that again. “I miss you Jillian. Please come out!”

No.

My tears sting so bad in my eyes.

I miss him too.

I push my self forward and screening the illuminating light through the ventilation gaps. There I found his blue eyes with widening pupils, staring back at me.

It’s him. It’s William.

I push the small door ever so slightly and shift my body out slowly. I close the small and invisible door behind me.

He’s there fifteen inches away from me, staring at me with disbelief.

I can feel his warmth and minty breath from the toothpaste we usually share.

He’s smiling.

I don’t really recognize his face anymore. He hardly looks similar. But that smile, those blue eyes, that satin smooth hair that is now so much shorter. They are all the same that the old William has, my dear best friend.

The rumbling sounds come closer now.

The Minotaur is already crashing the front gate!

My body jolts upwards and so does Will. We stare into each other’s eyes. We know what we need to do next.

Run. Hide.

Together.

 

 

 

 

Hide!

Hide!

My instinct tells me to hide.

I am once again back in the orphanage, where I have spent all my life here. The only place that is giving me nightmares every night, the only place that gave me this bad insomnia. I have always been scared both to sleep and awake. But now, I am back. I know it’s just a place for hiding. I can still sneak around and run back to Fantasy world when the Minotaur has already gone. Will I ever be able to do so?

I have tried to hide and run away from here several years ago, but I kept failing until I gave up. Then when I had stopped trying, there was where I could finally disappear for good. It was the moment when I discovered the murky passage that led me to Fantasy world.

Creaak..

Someone is tip-toeing the wrong footing somewhere. I remember just well how one of the wooden tiles in this building, especially in several steps of the stairs, are not concrete that make squeaking sounds when someone steps on them.

I gasp.

Hide!

My instinct is yelling now. I look around the dark and humid room to find a small opening. I know where to hide! I run as quietly as I can but fast enough to reach the spandrel closet under the stairwell. This small closet has never been used or opened before. Because just like me, we are oblivious. I used to hide here when I didn’t want to be bothered. They never found me.

The small door does not seem so apparent, that’s why everyone doesn’t notice it that much. But somehow, for me the small stripes of ventilation on the wooden door are the most visible in this house.

I hook one of my fingers to one of the ventilation and tug the door out, making a small gap just for my body to get in. I have to fold my legs and hug them to my chest now. So, I’m taller now since I went missing? Because I still could sit straight the last time I hid here.

“Who’s there?”

Someone is whispering loudly from the bottom of the stairs, just meters away from where I’m breathing.

I cover my mouth with my hand to hide the sound of me who is suddenly panting.

“Is anyone there?”

The footstep is getting closer to where I hide.

No,

“Hello?”

He sounds scared. We both are.

“Please, come out!”

His voice is now right outside the spandrel door.

No!

“Are you in there?”

I can see his eyes wandering in the darkness.

They are so blue.

“Jill?”

I gasp. My tears suddenly appear. My heart suddenly thuds and then stops beating. My hands are cold, but sweats spurting out from my forehead.

He knows my name.

He knows where I hide.

Who is he?

I’m scared.

Where do I go now?

Run!

It’s dark.

The passage is murky, it gives me chill.

What time is it? The cold night wind penetrates through my olive skin.

I’m scared, but I need to keep going.

I have to run away before the Minotaur captures me!

I was finally sleeping after fighting my insomnia for a year. The Dryads helped me with their song.

Yes, I was finally at ease. Until the Minotaur came to my wigwam and scattered all my books, as usual looking for an answer that is never there.

The Dryads didn’t give me a warning sign before their arrival. I was hiding under my blanket, until the Minotaur gave up his search. Minotaurs are blind at night, they don’t see very clear in the dark. That’s why I need to keep going further this passage. I don’t know what’s on the end of this passage, but I keep on going.

Rumbling sounds came from behind me. Like a tractor lost control in a corn maze, trying to swallow and cut everything in its way.

Don’t cry!

I swipe away my newly coming tears with the sleeve of my pajama. I cuss in between my breath, why didn’t I remember to put on thicker pajamas during Autumn nights? It’s almost winter!

I run.

I keep running deeper than the passage itself.

I found myself running into Steep Hill in Lincoln. I can run up or down there! All I have to do first is to look for an open shop and knock, but in this matter I need to burst in before the Minotaur gets here!

But it’s dark! All the shops are closed, somehow the pubs are out of business tonight. Where do I go? Up or down? Either way, I can’t find a place to hide. At least, not soon enough.

Without thinking twice I continue running down the Hill to Well Lane.

Wait, how do I still remember the name if this street? I feel like I’m home. But this is not my home, but I know I’m back to somewhere I used to belong in.

My home is in the Fantasy world! This is England, I suppose? Did I come from this world before I was lost in the Fantasy world? They’re two different  worlds.

In Fantasy world, there will be no darkness allays the living creatures. There will be stars and bright full moon. In this world, the sky looks…sad and empty.

I need to stop wandering around, I need to hide!

Oh, I know just the right way! I remember this road. It will lead me to somewhere I can’t recall. But I know this place, I remember what it feels like to be living in my own nightmare.

I remember I’d always hated this place and wished to leave. I did! But why am I back here again?

Was that the passage I took that led me to the Fantasy world?

Why is it so easy to find, yet I’ve been living there for 10 years? Did I forget where I’ve come from?

The rumbling sound is now coming closer to me. It follows me back here!

Run faster! Go hide!

I don’t have to think about which turns I should take, or where this Hill will take me to, because I know where I’m going. I’m familiar with the street around me. The houses and street lamps. The silence. Everything is like in the back of my head in an instance.

I’m almost there.

Straight ahead, my old nightmare.

The place that gives me goosebumps. The place full of horror. The place that leaves the outcry in me. The place I will never forget.

The black gate is still standing tall, even a tornado won’t take it down. None can tear that house apart from the ground.

It is scary. I don’t want to go back inside, because once I set my foot inside I will never go out again.

The roar of an angry Minotaur is echoing from above, all the street lamps burst into flames.

I need to get inside.

I push the gate open without force and it’s already cracked open. I run inside and close the gates carefully behind me, trying not to make a creak sound.  I continue running deeper into the house.

The scent of violence burns my lungs instantly.

Suddenly, I am taken back into my darkest times. I can’t run back outside, but I am scared to keep on going further into the house. What should I do? Where should I run now? Where can I hide?

The Negative and Positive Sides of Being an Introvert

*note : this post is based on my own opinions. So if someone is offended or have different opinions, please speak up.

Me, one of the Introverts standing between Extroverts, trying to survive in such a cruel world.

Someday I would love it being an introvert, the other day I would envy the extrovert.

Being an introvert isn’t all bad and isn’t all pleasing at the same time either. Being an introvert is…complicated. Living in the world with classes is hard. You will never be equal, I mean everyone is different. But why is it hard for us introverts to fit in with society like extroverts can easily do?!?!

No extrovert can understand what us introverts feel and think!

Here are some negative and positive points of being an introvert.

POSITIVE ;

  1. When people ignore you, you won’t get hurt as much as extroverts will. Because you know why, introverts like to be invisible. We tend to be oblivious and sometimes people will never realize about our existence, not until we make a sound.
  2. Introverts are calm and quite. So when people get tired of dramas, an introvert can be a good companionship and sometimes a good human diary.
  3. We don’t mind being alone and doing everything by ourselves. Because introverts hate loud people. So, when we are put in a condition where we have to deal or do anything alone, there’s nothing to worry about.
  4. I’m not so sure why, but most in my case people tell me that introverts give the best advises. We have our own thoughts. We are so unpredictable. Though we don’t express more of our feelings, always stay away from crowds and dramas, never put ourselves in public, but an introverts can be a good examiner. We see everything that happens around us because we’re invisible. We know what is going on. We know how to give advise, or even though we can’t, we’ll always be a good listener.
  5. We will never be bored. Or if we do, we can always find something small for entertainment. We don’t need to move around so much, spend money on things we see, we don’t even need to get out. We can simply just chill in front of our laptop, surfing the internet, writing, reading, watching movies, or just enjoying a hot cup of tea while day-dreaming. Anything can become an activity.
  6. Introverts can be a good friend for everyone because we tend to be loyal to someone that we care the most. We don’t socialize much. Making friends is the hardest part we have to do in life. But once we have some close friends, we will never hurt them or betray them. We will protect them. Imagine dating an introvert, you’d be treated as a king. (Well, not really LOL)
  7. If you ever hurt an introvert by accident, just give them sometimes for themselves and they will forgive you no matter what. But they will always remember.
  8.  Like number 6, introverts are loyal. Though introverts hate to be the center of attention, or just to be in a place where there are more than 4 people in the room, once we find someone so close and dear to use, we will never let go. How badly you treat us, we will always forgive and stay although we might never forget, because for us finding the perfect one is such a life-time achievement. I mean, going out there talking to someone is already hard enough. We will treasure that person, but we have limits. We know when to let go or to keep on holding on.
  9. Introverts are creative. It doesn’t mean that extroverts aren’t. But the way we think is different from most of other people out there. This one is hard to be explained, but I don’t know why most introverts are just creative, and weird… but in a cool way.
  10. Introverts are smart. That does not mean extroverts are stupid. Sometimes extroverts can outsmart introverts. People judge us introverts as weird and probably stupid because we never say anything in class, give an argument, or correct someone when they make mistakes. But we’re not. We just don’t talk, we think. Because introverts has the loudest minds then those who speak too much. (no offense!) because we prefer to be silent when we don’t know or do, rather than saying wrong things and being too cocky about it which will only make you look dumber.

NEGATIVE ;

  1. We’re too sensitive. I know when I say introverts are like being to be left alone, but sometimes we want the world to know that we actually exist too. Especially when an introvert has an extrovert best friend. Urgh, that is just hard! Because you will only be more invisible. We can get hurt too you know if someone is ignoring us too much or and too far. Like, HELLO? CAN YOU SEE ME? I’M RIGHT HERE TOO, BREATHING AND ALIVE!
  2. It’s hard to put our thought into words. Like when people ask about how we feel, we’re just going to say that we’re fine which is a lie. Because expressing ourselves, telling the truth about how we exactly feel is harder than to peel of a potato using a spoon. We don’t care about how you feel, and we’re scared if we’re going to tell how we feel and no one will care is a nightmare for us. Because introverts are just TOO SENSITIVE!
  3. Making a friend is hard, let alone to be famous. We’re not confident enough. Why? because I think being invisible will be a lot easier than to be apparent, no one will judge a non-existent human being. You will never be judged. Because no one knows that you’re actually alive. But this will be a bad thing, in terms of love and friendship. It’s hard to get a boyfriend and friends (at least loyal ones)
  4. We’re never a good leader. Because it connects with number 1-3. Think about it…
  5. Introverts always expect the bad out of the good. We don’t expect too much, though we dream as high as a skyscraper. Or we’re more like, pessimist. We’re scared of falling too deep and too hard.
  6. We will always ask ourselves this for the rest of our lives, “Am I brave enough to do that?” “What does it feel like to be the center of attention, to have so many friends who care, to be (at least) someone’s favorite, to be the first choice?”
  7.  We will never know how to be an extrovert
  8. We will always envy extroverts
  9. We will always be the sidekick
  10. Sometimes we pity ourselves to be all alone all the time because your extrovert friends will always have someone else to hang out with, and we will blame ourselves for not making enough friends and for hating everyone too much.

I guess, in the end it depends on your own self. If you enjoy being an introvert that’s okay. But people can change. Depends on how environment effects your attitude, behavior, your life. Depends on how you see the world from your perspective.

If I’m wrong, please correct me.

If you’re agree, thanks…

This is just one of my opinions about something. People are allowed to have their own opinions, aren’t they?