Billie Eilish – Bored

Billie Eilish – Bored


The games you played were never fun
You’d say you’d stay but then you’d run

Giving you what you’re begging for
Giving you what you say I need
I don’t want any settled scores
I just want you to set me free
Giving you what you’re begging for
Giving you what you say I need, say I need

I’m not afraid anymore
What makes you sure you’re all I need?
Forget about it
When you walk out the door and leave me torn
You’re teaching me to live without it
Bored, I’m so bored, I’m so bored, so bored

I’m home alone, you’re God knows where
I hope you don’t think that shit’s fair

Giving you all you want and more
Giving you every piece of me
But I will never can afford
I just want you to love for free
Can’t you see that I’m getting bored?
Giving you every piece of me, piece of me

I’m not afraid anymore
What makes you sure you’re all I need?
Forget about it
When you walk out the door and leave me torn
You’re teaching me to live without it
I’m so bored, I’m so bored, so bored

Giving you what you’re begging for
Giving you what you say I need
I don’t want any settled scores
I just want you to set me free
Giving you what you’re begging for
Giving you what you say I need, say I need

I’m not afraid anymore
What makes you sure you’re all I need?
Forget about it
And when you walk out the door and leave me torn
You’re teaching me to live without it

Are You in Love?

Hey there lovers, you might be wondering right now about what is it that your heart feels about him or her am I right? It’s a common thing to suffer from this kind of situation. I mean, everybody’s been there including me. So many times. You are clueless about it, about what you should do and what shouldn’t be. I mean, sometimes when someone still can’t let go of the past, stuck in the good old days and there’s another person who’s trying to help you to move on but still confused rather to go with the flow or keep your heart aching.

So, don’t you worry! I have the indications of you lovers who might be in love for real and not just to go with the flow just to get yourself moved on.

First thing to be sure is that you’re not moving on from anybody. or Not yet. Ha.

1. It might be crazy, but try to compare him or her with the latest person you fell for. I mean, it’s not the kind that you have to rebound with the memories and will only make you suffer more. Just simply compare with your own reaction. If you fell for A and now you are confused on B, see how your reactions between these two when they’re popping out of nowhere in front of you or when they suddenly text you. When you’re in love, you can tell by your heartbeats, your pupils, and your breathing.

2. When this person is missing, there will be two things that happen. You look for him, or you don’t even realize that person is missing. If you like him, you’ll be looking for him.

3. If you are daydreaming, that person starts to cross your mind and you keep thinking about something good (or romantic) with him or maybe even making a scene about it, it’s maybe you have a crush on him not falling in love. You know it’s different, right?

4. When you’re thinking about your past with someone, and suddenly this badboy appears in your mind so suddenly without you noticing, THEN YOU’RE in love.

5. You think about him, not mostly but at least sometimes.

6. You care for him.

7. You can bear texting with him from 11 pm to 5 am without stopping.

8. You smile when he suddenly appears after missing for so long.

9. You don’t feel like ‘you have to’ reply the texts, but because you ‘want to’.

10. You blush when he flirts with you and you smile a lot.

11. You have a good sleep after chatting with him.

12. You want him to make a move, you don’t want to go plain like skimmed milk.

13. Obviously you want to show your best for him or in any other words, you’re not who you really are when you are with that person because you are afraid that this person might go away and doesn’t like your personality or anything. These are only your negative thoughts, they appear so many times when you’re in love. But if you think that this person is not someone special, you won’t even care if this person will run away, I mean who is she or he?

14. I’m out of signs, so here’s the last…. You will know that you’re in love if you start listening to your heart. Stop listening to your head, because your head is your own ego and your heart is your compassion. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be with certain people, but you will find out without noticing. Because falling in love is not easy, that’s why it has to be so complicated at first. If it’s not, then you know this person will not stay for long. Don’t just go with the flow, but consider your future with this person.

OKAY…. I might not be good in love thingy because I’m no expert. But trust me, I am in love right now. It’s been a year almost two years. At first, I was on the same page with you guys. But I tried to listen to my heart even though I might lose the chance and I’d be so devastated  if I lose him, or maybe I don’t want to fall in love ever again just because I don’t want to be heartbroken anymore. I kept saying that after the post breakups with my ex-es, but there is always someone you won’t even realize would appear and light up your world again.

Here’s a motto…

“You’ve got nothing to lose.”

Okay, so it’s all up to you, your heart, your feeling, I can’t constrain that because you’re the only one who can.

Good luck, lovers….

Wonderwall

Wonderwall;

Someone you find yourself thinking about all the time,

the person you are completely infatuated with.


It’s funny how someone who was just a stranger last year, can mean so much right now. It’s terrible that someone who meant so much last year, can be a stranger now.

Time is so fluid. Time goes by, but memories stay. Words and events are not an accident. They mean to happen for something. But that something can be so unpredictable. Good or bad that something would be, words and events create memories.

It was a rainy day, a damp night outside. She is a Pluviophile, she enjoys rainy days and a cloudy sky. Her mind wander away while sitting next to an opened window inside her small flat. Raindrop came crashing in and moisten half of her body. It was the hardest week that she had been through. Her small flat that she was living left her too much pain and she could not barely hold anymore tears. The hard rain covered up the dark alley that leads her to her wonderwall. Sitting there while watching the pain came back was not something that she wanted. She was waiting for someone to come outside, to pretend checking the weather but the actual fact was that for checking on her, to knock on her door, to pretend asking for something he needed. But that did not happen anymore, his front door was shut all day. Until the sky went dark, thick black clouds covered up the blue color above her happiness, and started to wash the memories of losing him away.

It’s been more than four months she passed without having to say that she’s hurt. After the dark, came the light, she kept reminding herself. She was happy to know that November is going to be her season. A rainy season. She was assigned to be busy outside her pathetic flat, that meant for no more waiting in the rain while watching his doorstep to open. The day where she cared too much for someone was going to be over, she thought. No more hurting, less pain. But what she did not know was that something worse is going to happen to her. The more killing part of her worst nightmare, the endless scream and tears, is going to scatter her world apart. But then, she kept smiling without knowing anything.

The task must be finished before holiday. She put her name in the group of some people new for her. A group consisted of twelve people, with nine of the majority were girls. The task was not as simple as she thought it would be. It was a full month of selling any product invented. Her group was selling food products. There were 5 different divisions for each group; the CEO, marketing team, human resource, production, and finance. While watching other members to decide which division they are going to take, she knew what she wanted. After everyone got their own part of job desk, they arranged for the first meeting. Everybody agreed to have their first meeting next week during the class. She knew she had to pull out her best effort this time because this was going to be the hardest month of her life.


She went back to her usual spot every night. When the rain started to pour down outside her window, she opened it. She stared into nothingness. She was trying to find a little light. Waiting and waiting for hours to come and take her wondering away into the old days, nothing happened. The rain started to stop. The darkness inside and outside her life was still on. She gave up. She closed the window as she started to close her heart for her wonderwall. Everything went completely dark and she went overly blind.