There was once a quote stated by Thomas Szasz;
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; The naive forgive and forget; The wise forgive but do not forget.”
Which kind of person are you? The stupid, the naive, or the wise?
Everyone knows that forgiving someone is not easy looking at how big the mistakes a person did. It is you to decide which kind of person you need to be in that situation. You can either forgive and forget or simply forgive but would never forget. Forgiving itself is already hard, let alone you need to forget.
I don’t have the best tips how to do both or be naive. It is your decision to make. You can forgive, but for the sake of your own self, you don’t forget. Why don’t people who have been hurt forget someone’s mistakes?
Depends on that person and the mistakes. You don’t always remember the person who broke your favorite pencil in 5th grade, right? Or a person who ever said mean things to you two years ago. Why? Because they don’t change you, at least they don’t change a part of you. It’s different from the person who hurt you so much that it changed you into a whole new person. You will never forget. Because that person is the reason for who you are now.
You were a dancer, but a car driver hit you hard one night you could never dance anymore. Will you ever forget that moment? or can you? You may forgive him/her, but it does not mean you can forget. Because that mistake is already a part of you. You can’t take away some parts of your life. The past. You can never erase, take away, bury the past. Here is one thing, you eventually will forget who did what but for sure I know the only thing that will always haunt you is the thing that someone did.
One day, I came home to find one of my window car broken and someone stole all of my mom’s documents. I could never forget what happened that day, but I don’t even remember who did it. You remember event, not person.
Why? Is that okay?
To give you some lesson in the future that you need to prevent the same bad thing happening. To teach you how to change yourself into a better person. In my case, to teach you how to be more cautious where to park your car (or never leave any bags inside it if the windows are see-through).
You will never learn if you don’t experience anything. It kills you when someone hurts you so bad it turns your life upside down. But you have to know, that everything happens for a reason.
Forgiving someone gives so many positive vibes in your life. Here is the thing, “you still haven’t forgiven me if you can’t forget what I had done in the past.” forgiving does not mean forgetting. By forgiving someone means that you are mature, wise, and rational. It gives you the strength to be happy and start something new with a clear head and heart. But forgetting things that had changed you mean that you are ignorant, never learn, and headstrong. That means, you can always go back to doing things that might let someone does the same bad things happen in the future if you never learn from someone’s mistake.
Learn how to forgive someone else starts with forgiving yourself. Learn from someone else’s mistakes start with learning your own mistakes. Someone will not hurt you if you don’t let them. That is your biggest mistake! Letting someone else hurt you in the first place. I parked my car outside, leaving all the bags in the back seat, and so I gave a chance for the stealer to do their mistakes. I was so care-free that so many people betrayed me and crushed all the faith in me, leaving me with all these bruises and a severe trust-issue. My biggest mistake was that I let them did it in the first place. But I have learned so many lessons, that you can never get what you want, that you can’t devote yourself 100% to anything or anyone but God, that I am not alone and that I have to be a better person to never let this thing happen in the future. I know why it happened so I would start to change everything starting with myself. I don’t remember who but I still can’t forget what had changed me. People remember events, not people.
Forgiveness, one cruel word but the impact is everything.
Forgiving someone prevents you from a miserable life. You know you are not happy because you still hold on to your pain and grudges. You need to forgive yourself in order to forgive someone else. Don’t ever blame yourself or anyone for all the bad things that happen, just remember that they happen for a reason. One day, they will worth the tears and forgiveness you have sacrificed. Everyone who fights deserves a reward. That reward is waiting for you so don’t ever stop fighting for it. Forgive is the best way to start.
Forgiveness means letting go. Let go all the grudges and breathe.
Just breathe and smile.